I'm bleeding my heart out.

Remember when someone posted a lyrics of a song on Facebook:

I really don't have anything to talk about.
Maybe it's cause I'm stuck at home for the past 2 days and really without any inputs, there can hardly be any outputs. Interesting outputs.

I think this is like the 3rd attempt to revive my blog.
Changed the skin and all that but seriously, keeping a blog is hard work!

Anyways, Calista' gone to Cambodia to be a hero.
Trying (and i emphasize trying) to teach the kids there some english. I think its a wonderful thing that YMCA (i think) i doing organising these kind of OCIP, but they should really go make sure the people that actually go there and teach are of qualified capabilities.
Well, they don't need to have like a degree or masters from NIE whatsoever. As long as their common sense actually make sense!

So lets evaluate Calista's capability in teaching the poor kids in Cambodia.

We will just skip the entire chapter on basic survival skills.
Anyone who knows Calista, just 1 iota-bit about her will find the "WILL NEVER SURVIVE ON HER OWN, EVEN IN SINGAPORE" alert sign screaming in their face!
So since its an obvious fact that will soon be added to the Dictionary of Common Sense and Basic Knowledge, lets not waste our time. How can she even make it to Cambodia, safely and return safely even if the flight back is immediately after her flight there?

So moving on to the next chapter, General Knowledge & Common Sense
Calista's general knowledge, well lets just put it as it exist but it isn't working. It's amazing how something she can miss the simplest and most basic knowledge of things. I don't even know if they bother to teach those things in school!!
How do you learn general knowledge and common sense? As the name apply, shouldn't it be rather common to find?
Its difficult to find actual examples as examples need to be unique, significant and something that is obvious from other day to day living, its difficult when it comes to Calista cause there is no unique, significant or special events in her life that does not deviate from having no common sense, so the only example is her entire life's work! Yes it can be considered as a work of art to be able to achieve that level (low level) of common sense living. She has gone where no man or woman has gone before. Deeper than the great oceanic trenches and lower than the worst scums in the this world. It is truly a feat worth celebrating.

In this third chapter, we will discuss the specific knowledge of Calista. Since we have just gone through the real basic stuff, lets jump to something a little more challenging, but not too much. Let us talk about the Universe!
As everyone knows, yes including Calista knows this one, we all live on Earth, it is round, really really huge and well its where we all stay. So from there, we move on to our closest neighbor, the moon!
The moon is also round and has many holes. Probably cause they don't really have any face wash for them in outer space. Next in line is well the bunch of 8 (yes some argue that pluto is not and some say there is planet x, so lets just base this argument on my science textbook back in Primary 4 ok?!) other planets that is rotating around our sun! Everyone coming along fine? *check on Calista* yup she is still around!

So we all know that the Sun (or a star if your an alien from a planet 10 000 lightyears away) together with the 9 planets, including Earth, forms what we know as the Solar System.

From here on, if you can visualise, Calista would jump or fall off the elevator of knowledge, down into the pit of darkness.
Because in the unexplored mind of Calista, that's it!
What do I mean by that's it? That is Calista's answer if you were to ask her "How big is our Universe?"

!!!I know!!!
OMG!

Today Pastor Bobby talked about Cultural Mandate and how we should engage the culture.
Another point that really impacted me was about feeding our soul. And all along when I thought that I am somewhat engaging towards the pop culture, I realised that I have not been actually feeding my soul and letting the Arts or Pop Culture "re-create" my soul.
Perhaps that is why my soul seems so shut-down, emotionally as well as in the energy level I have in whatever that I do.

its time to feed my soul.

One of the best and definitely easiest way one can feed the soul and allow ourselves to express our innermost feelings and conditions is writing. Though there are many other forms, such as fashion where one can express the inward outward or music where one can release the inward through the outward, writing I personally feel is the cheapest and most direct form of communication between the world and our soul.
Its not for people to read (though it will be good as the nourishment of one's soul can also nourish another) but its just to express.

The freedom of expression is what we need.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

man!
wad dr john avanzini said today was kinda scary! world recession worst than the great depression? how more depression can the it be? the greater depression?
oh well, but i am recession proofed!
i guess the hardest part is to really believe that its gonna happen to you.
and pst said something right at me this week, when you rest too much after asia conference, it will bring you really down and it will then take really long before you get back up again.
but asia conference was REALLY tiring!
and now school is also trying to compete with AC in the "who is the busiest institution" contest, im becoming more and more certain that there is a conspiracy in this. somehow god is making Asia Conference and Christmas drama rehearsals and my school work, project and exams clash so bad like its the big bang, so that i will be super super tired that i will stay at home more often after all these are over and answer the prayer (well she doesnt really pray) of my mum!

anyway,
sound debrief by Raj was a real long one.
but i guess one of the biggest things he said was that we gotta get out of our mental prison of limitations. he told us some of his stories back when he was just a rookie in church and how now he has to sign of millions of dollars every year for the church and stuff, its like 70% if i remember correctly...
gosh, joining sound ministry really pays off.

back to mugging

honestly speaking,
i dont think i am doing so well after asia conference.
its so inspiring but i dunno y im so so tired when it ended.
i guess its cause i didnt guard myself properly and let myself slacked off too much.
its time i buck up again!

and i thank god for his grace
whenever we mess up, sometimes really BIG time
He is always there, all prepared to help us get on our feet again and move on.
even when you feel that u messed up so bad and so long
damn i feel like i did all the time

bucking up now=)